The adventures of a girl aspiring to be many somethings, including (but not limited to) a pretty good wife, a passable mom, a decent human being, and a humor blogger whose posts you actually want to read.
This is neither a letter of celebration, nor regret. This is simply an acknowledgement of your presence; a simple note to say that, yeah, I see you, in all of your loose-skinned glory. I accept that you're here. I know that I spent 9 months cultivating you, eating cheeseburgers when I should have had a salad, taking naps when I should have done a workout. But I was hungry. And I was tired. It's not that I hate you; I just haven't learned how to love you yet.
I started to think of this unfair expectation that moms put on themselves in the context of our children. Would we ever belittle the accomplishment of one of our kids if they hadn't achieved it in the "typical" way? Would we ever tell them that there was only one "appropriate" or "acceptable" method to reach one of their goals and that, if they received any outside assistance in attaining that goal, it wouldn't count and they should be ashamed of themselves?
I've been on maternity leave #2 for the past two months. Of the last eight weeks, approximately six were spent with different family and friends coming to help out with our new baby, or coming to stay to help us celebrate the holidays. Once the excitement of Christmas was over, my husband returned to work [...]
In preparation for my second C-Section, I scoured the Internet for encouragement and advice on how to head into the operation with confidence. I soon found that a lot of the information out there is filled with doom and gloom, and was feeling even less excited about heading into the procedure than I had been [...]
It seems like whenever people ask you about your pregnancy, the first question is, "How are you feeling?" and the second is something along the lines of, "Everyone's healthy?" Whenever people would ask me the second question during my last pregnancy, I could feel myself preparing myself to lie as I would smile and answer, "Yep!"
As the days leading up to our anatomical screen get closer and closer, I've started to ask myself, "What if it's another boy?" And I think I've come up with a pretty good answer.
You know that story, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie? Isn't motherhood like that sometimes, only with less cookies and more chores?
Remember when you were childless, and going out for dinner meant sitting at a romantic table for two, gazing lovingly into the eyes of your partner as you leisurely sipped at your wine and let the hours stretch out before you as you indulged in deep and meaningful conversation over appetizers and entrees? Remember when [...]
Do you ever feel like you're so busy counting down to things in the future that you forget to appreciate today?
By now, you, your grandma, and your long-dead pet hamster have all seen the video of the BBC News broadcast where a professor's cover gets blown and the world discovers his true identity as a parent who is only pretending to have it all together. Moments after the initial shock of seeing not one, but two children bust [...]
THE ASPIRING SOMETHING 