As the days leading up to our anatomical screen get closer and closer, I’ve started to ask myself, “What if it’s another boy?” And I think I’ve come up with a pretty good answer.
A couple of nights ago, I sat on my parents’ deck enjoying the 36°C temperatures with my husband, best friend and my mom, and our conversation turned to baby names and the ultrasound appointment we have scheduled for this week, where we will find out if Baby #2 is a boy or a girl. I have had a girl’s name picked out for approximately 5 years, but find choosing boys’ names to be a lot more challenging. As we scrolled through lists with titles like “Names All Your Friends Will Think Are Cool” (very important), “Hipster Baby Names” (to make sure we stay on trend), “Popular Scottish Boy Names” (to honour part of Stu’s heritage) and “Top 1000 Boy Names” (because I was starting to feel desperate), I was no closer to choosing a moniker for my potential son than I was to just calling him Chungo Mungo, which was inspired by an actual name option from one of the aforementioned lists.
Anyone who is expecting a baby can attest to the fact that one of the first questions you are asked after announcing your pregnancy is, “Will you find out if it’s a boy or a girl?” and the second is, “Which one do you want?” I feel like this is such an awkward question to answer, because I know that I would love to have a little sister for Beckett, but I also recognize that just getting the chance to have even one baby is such a gift, regardless of its gender. I know that some people expect that you will be disappointed to have two children of the same gender and some will even assume that you’ll try for another just to see if you might get “lucky” next time. I feel pretty strongly about the fact that I only want to have two children and that my mind won’t change on this no matter what colour confetti falls out of a gender-reveal balloon, but I guess you never know.
So. What happens tomorrow, if we open that little envelope to peek at the card and see an “X” marked next to the word “Boy”?
I will celebrate.
Will I be sad that I will never have a little mini-me to dress in cute little outfits with matching bows and accessories? Yep. But will I be excited about so many other things that I never even dreamed could be possible before having my first son? Also yep. See, someone told me once, when I announced that I was pregnant with a boy the last time, that there was something so special about the love a mom has for her son, and vice versa. At the time, I was still a little disappointed about the fact that I wasn’t having a girl, so I just smiled while silently having a hard time believing this to be true. But over the past 22 months, I have come to love a little boy in a way I didn’t even know could exist.
At less than two years old, my son has forced me me to develop an interest in things like trucks and trains and hockey and motorcycles. He has helped me to let go of my need to have things neat and tidy all the time, because there simply is no point (or time). He is strong and brave and lets literally nothing stand in the way of going for something that he wants. He has taught me to stand back and let him try things, to allow him to pick himself up when he falls, but to also be there to offer support or a magical kiss to make things better when he can’t do it on his own. He is strong-willed and tender-hearted. He stops in his tracks when he hears anyone crying, whether it is a baby in the park (“baby crying, mommy!”) or someone he knows and loves (in which case he will rush over with a hug and a kiss to tell them “it’s okay”). He is hilarious and smart and fun to be around. He also throws temper tantrums and picks his nose and sometimes refuses to eat what I made him for dinner. He is the joy in my heart and a pain in my butt and I love him more than anything. He is my son.
So, what if it’s another boy?
I will celebrate.
I will celebrate getting to have two boys to steal my heart and help me see life through eyes so unlike my own. I will celebrate watching my son have a little brother to mentor and guide and love and fight with. I will celebrate getting to pull out all of my favourite clothes of Beckett’s from storage and see them worn one more time. I will celebrate having a child who may share the same gender as my son but be different from him in a multitude of other ways. I will celebrate having a healthy baby. I will celebrate being a family of four. I will celebrate the love that is poured over a new addition to any family, regardless of whether that addition is male or female.
And if it’s a girl?
I’ll celebrate that, too.
So stay tuned…our celebration will be happening either way, and it will be happening very soon!
What do you love about having two kids of the same gender? I’d love to hear in the comments!